Deuteronomy 30:15-20
Psalm 119:1-8
1 Corinthians 3:1-9
Matthew 5:21-37
When I was in seminary the pastor at the church where
I attended most often preached on this text from Matthew the Sunday following
her public announcement of her divorce to the congregation. The members of that
church loved her and her husband. I don’t know what happened, I don’t suppose
anyone besides those two are aware of exactly what happened, but it broke the
hearts of those who read the news. And it was a hard sermon to give—I can’t
even imagine how hard.
This text from Matthew has been one of the 20th
and 21st century church’s most difficult to wrestle with as divorce
has become more common, often for very good reasons. As we all are aware, there
have been times in the past when women were stuck in abusive marriages or with
unfaithful spouses. (I say women because men have almost always had the option
of divorce.) And these verses concerning divorce are pretty blunt. Yet if you
read it within the context of first century Judaism, you realize that Jesus is
seeking to protect women from husbands who want to abandon them for shallow
reasons—reasons that cause all parties to sin according to the law.
But this whole passage isn’t about marriage and
divorce—this whole passage is, however, about integrity, humanity, community,
and fidelity. And this passage is just one part of a whole set of teachings
that Jesus gave, according to Matthew’s gospel, after he went up the mountain,
and sat down and began to speak and teach his followers—his disciples.
Matthew’s gospel outline parallels Jesus with Moses
and this passage, from Matthew 5, verse 1 to Matthew 7, verse 28. The gospel
writer presents theses teachings of Jesus as Moses’ teachings were brought to
the people, from a mountain. And theses teachings are often commentaries or
parallels to the laws and regulations based upon the commandments that God gave
Moses on the mountain.
Here in these verses, Jesus even quotes a few of the
commandments that concern human relationship and interprets them for his
followers. “You have heard it said,” Jesus begins, “but I say to you . . . “.
Jesus, in these words, was revealing his relationship to God and his understanding
of the law and how it functions within human relationships.
Jesus begins with ‘“You have heard that it was said to
those of ancient times, “You shall not murder”; and “whoever murders shall be
liable to judgment.” But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or
sister, you will be liable to judgment.”’
So just being angry is enough . . . to be liable to
judgment . . . so who doesn’t fit that category? I get angry at people. I get
angry and hurt when I am personally insulted—though that doesn’t happen as
often as it once did. But once I beat on a very close friend of mine (in two
separate incidents) because we were arguing about a television show. Yes,
that’s what I said, a television show. Stupid, huh? We were good friends and
are still friends, but I was overwhelmed by that anger. I was out of control—and
that made me angrier. I think that’s what I eventually told her in my
apology—that I was possessed by it. I had a choice, don’t get me wrong and at
the same time I lost control of myself. And I’ve been angry at children that I
love when I saw their behavior as deliberately disobedient. Anger is hard. My
own anger has frightened me—I don’t like it at all.
I could have chosen in all of these situations to
behave in calmer ways and more loving ways and I didn’t. I believe I am better
about this now. I also have to say that there are some situations in which I
think anger spurs us to action—but it’s not about carrying out angry emotions
or vengeance. Anger at racist, sexist, genderist, ageist, etc., systems instead
of anger at persons can move people to change those systems. When Jesus talked
about anger between brothers and sisters—he also meant between his followers
and we are supposed to be linked by our love for Christ and Christ’s love for
us. We are to participate in a better system—something like the kingdom of God.
And our love for Christ—and Christ’s love for us—and
God’s love for the entire world leads us to look at Jesus’ next two admonitions
regarding the law. “You have heard it said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already
committed adultery with her in his heart.” And Jesus remarks that the law
allows divorce, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of
divorce.” But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the
grounds of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a
divorces woman commits adultery.”
Looking at a woman or a man, the other person with
desire—especially when in a relationship is, in my opinion, necessary for the
life in the relationship. Whether it is a desire for his or her presence, time,
conversation, or sexually—I don’t believe that’s Jesus’ point. Lust on the
other hand sees another person as an object designated for use—lust turns a
person into a thing. Recently I’ve read the proverb, “Most of our problems
today stem from us treating objects as if they are people and people as if they
are objects.” That’s lust. Lust means no relationship; lust isn’t just desire,
lust is all about self.
The second admonition about the allowance of divorce
in Jewish culture in the first century sounds a lot to me like the admonition
against treating a woman as an object. Women, in first century Judaism,
couldn’t divorce their husbands, but husbands could divorce their wives. Jesus’
instruction was intended to eliminate superficial reasons for men to abandon
their wives, superficial reasons that included infertility, since Jesus
commented that unchastity was the only acceptable reason for a writ of divorce.
Even though Jesus condemns divorce—which is a very narrow view in our day and
age—he is protecting the more vulnerable person in the partnership in his age
and time. He was making divorce more difficult for men who might abandon their
wives for shallow reasons. The wives would then have little choice but to
remarry to have a home and any kind of protection. Unattached women had no
rights in that society. That’s why widows and orphans were often mentioned as
people to whom the rest of society was responsible.
Finally, in this passage, when Jesus addressed
swearing oaths, like swearing to tell the truth on a sacred text, like many do
in courtrooms—or like someone might swear “on their mother’s grave” or “on
their father’s good name,” we are brought to the basics, the heart of life as a
disciple of Jesus. Though our choices may not always be easy ones, our insides
are supposed to match our outsides. How we live and our thoughts and beliefs
should match. We follow a Jesus who taught that we are to love our enemies and
pray for those who persecute us—we are taught not to persecute others because
they are different. The different people—like the Samaritans to the Jews—are
also to be loved because they are neighbors.
When Jesus said, “Let your word be “Yes, Yes” or “No,
No”; anything more than this comes from the evil one,” I hear that anything
else is an attempt to deceive ourselves or others with an elaborate story. With
a vow like swearing by some thing or another—or some idea or another—you or I
question our own integrity, we question whether or not our inside matches our
outside. We question whether or not our words match our action. As an
non-legalistic, non-doctrinal denomination, we don’t forbid our members from
taking oaths in court or as a requirement for governmental service, as some do,
and yet it should feel strange when we have to put some guarantee on our
promises.
The heart of our lives—when we are disciples of Jesus,
faithful to God, vessels of the Holy Spirit—calls us to put love first, the
heart first. What is loving, what is kind, what is hopeful, helpful and
healthy. Severing relationships for no good reason isn’t good—continuing to
hate another person (Christian or not), treating covenants between people like
they are meaningless, or walking away from another person lightly. When the
inside matches the outside, when love—for God, others and self—guide our
decisions we have found what being Jesus’ disciple is. We create community and
healthy relationships. We strengthen our relationship, as a community with
others. But it’s not easy—it takes continuous learning as we grow and develop
as human beings.
As children we learned to obey our parents and follow
the rules (so that we would learn what love and responsibility look like)—as
adults we must learn to examine the world around us, figure out how to love our
neighbors, enemies and others with integrity. We make choices daily that effect
loving actions and just systems of relationship because we are in systems of
relationship. (what we drive, what we buy, how we speak about or treat people
in private differently than in public, etc.) We have come to realize—as Jesus
taught—that we live in complex systems. Neighbors, spouses, men and women,
courts and governments, laws and expectations, written and unwritten draw us
into various times of complexity. Let us know ourselves—and know our Christ—so
that we can know and decide how to act and to act with justice—which is what
love looks like in public.
To the glory of God—creating with a word of life,
teaching us a life of love, and breathing into us a spirit of love. Amen.
