Sermon October 4 2009

Cuba Christian Church
Rev. Amy Wharton
Job 1:1; 2:1-10
Psalm 26
Hebrews 1:1-4; 2:5-12
Mark 10:2-16

“Embraced by Love”

I could tell stories about how my family members have been effected by divorce and remarriage or how children in my family have been hurt in separations or even might have benefitted from an earlier divorce than what happened. But I don’t have to tell those stories because you have similar stories in your lives and families. Couples separate and we’ve grieved the loss and brokenness of those situations, when they happen for seemingly good reason and when we understand the situations and when we don’t.

Divorce, remarriage, and adultery . . . they are not topics for the faint of heart. The Pharisees asked Jesus that question for exactly that reason, it was a good challenge. But it wasn’t just a matter of entrapment, as we may believe; it was and is a topic that needs to be discerned and considered with ethical, moral and compassionate conversation, concern and prayer. My sermon today is my attempt to explore these issues with some knowledge of biblical background. I don’t know that I can or want to tell you the right answers—just give you some things to think about. From the start, I will say that each person must and will make decisions about these issues, hopefully from the point of view of love and compassion.

In the context of the first testament of the bible, divorce meant a man sending away his wife—it was a privilege belonging only to men at that point in Jewish culture. Though in Roman society there may have been situations where women could divorce, Jesus’ audience that day knew that he was talking only about men. There are many varieties and examples of marriage and family within the biblical example—men married to many women at once, families that included concubines or women who were not married to men with whom they shared a bed. And we know stories of women who were married to several men over time, sometimes brothers.

We can read and understand that in the First Testament, that men were married to many women at the same time. Isaac was married to Rebekah, but his son Jacob or Israel was married to Leah, Rachel and their servants also produced sons for him, though he was not married to them. Divorce would have meant sending one away—he was married to them all at the same time.

The situation was different depending on gender. Jacob, though he was married to many women, was not guilty of adultery according to the law because he did not belong to one of them to the exclusion of the others. If his wives had gone to another man, however, they could have and would have been charged with adultery. And before Jesus’ birth, Joseph considered quietly putting away or divorcing his betrothed wife, Mary, away because of her pregnancy, supposed evidence of her guilt. Adultery, in our day and age, means sexual infidelity; adultery, in the bible, meant any act of disloyalty from a wife to her husband—a protection of male lineage.

The response to the questions, problems and crises surrounding human relationships are complex—and must be tempered by the love and compassion of God. Even if we have not been in the situation of divorce in our own relationships, we know what it means to be in broken relationships of all kinds. Conflicts between siblings are painful; sisters and brothers of all ages know very well how to fight with one another. Parents and adult children come to conflict on any number of important issues that can cause breaches lasting for years. Breaks in important relationships of all kinds cause pain that we’ve all experienced. It’s not the same as divorce within the relationship of a married couple, but brokenness of any kind causes pain and is inevitable among human beings.

What kinds of answers do we hear in the bible about these kinds of brokenness? What word does Jesus bring that sheds light on these perennial problems of humanity?

The gospel lesson reveals Jesus’ response of pain at the idea that divorce is a necessity for covenants made between two human beings. Yet, it seems that he realized that necessity—“because of your hardness of heart, Moses made it permissible.” When Jesus’ disciples asked him to say more about it, he actually expanded the possibility of divorce to women, though he held them to the high standard—if a man or a woman divorced and remarried then they would be committing adultery, leaving one for another.

In our reading of this text where Jesus quotes scripture, ““For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,* 8and the two shall become one flesh;” we hear an ideal of humanity. Yet God, through Christ, as well as Moses realizes that we can honor the human journey with all its twists and turns, mistakes and triumphs, as one author put it.[1]

I heard a story this week about a marriage within a culture and nation that arranges marriages between the young people in families. One young couple knew one another for 3 weeks before marrying—and had just that time to get to know one another. After 4 children and 10 years in the United States, she divorced him for good reasons. He often flew into rages, was inconsiderate of what she needed in a relationship and she felt trapped. After a time, when neither of them found love in other places, he had been in treatment for emotional problems and she had grown as well. They decided to try again and after getting to know one another again, through counseling and dating for a full year, again got married or, one could argue, were really covenanted to one another for the first time. Not all arranged marriages are like this, but if divorce and separation are not an option for both parties in a marriage, each day a husband and wife must choose to keep the covenant, so that the covenant is valued each day.

The scripture today are about the complexities of life and how we embrace them with the compassion and mercy that God has shown us—that we have learned from the life and death of Jesus Christ. Jesus was strict about marriage and divorce because he saw some men behaving toward wives with hardness of heart—they had the option to divorce if some small thing displeased them and sometimes they did. Mercy and compassion were not always considered as a part of the question—but he made the covenant an over arching quality of those relationships. He described marriage that had a quality that wasn’t always seen in marriages where men and women were not considered equal partners.

To most of us and to the laws of the society in which we live, adultery is sexual infidelity—to be unfaithful physically, carnally, with someone other than the marriage partner. But adultery can be both more and less than that today. Adultery is putting a barrier between one’s self and a loved one in a way that is practically impossible to cross.

The second situation in the gospel text for today also describes love and the barriers we erect to channel or funnel love. Parents have brought children to this holy man to be blessed. Jesus seemed to welcome the intentions of the parents and welcomed the children, but the followers of Jesus wanted to direct Jesus’ love in particularly productive ways. But sometimes people simply need to be embraced—and to embrace love—to offer mercy and receive mercy—to offer compassion and to receive compassion.

Sadly, Mark reports how the disciples themselves tried to thwart the Lord’s compassionate, healing touch for children. Jesus indignantly told them that the eagerness to trust him, which was being shown by [caregivers] and children alike, was the kind of faith needed to gain a passport into his kingdom. The disciples’ antipathy was acting on the families much as the threat of deportation affects genuine asylum seekers. No wonder he was upset. (Mark 10: 13-15)[2]

The gospel text tells me about opening to real relationship—in marriage we honor the promises, the covenants that we have made even when we are tempted or rejected at times. We are called by Jesus to allow love to embrace us—real love extended by those who care, extended by God through Jesus. We are called by Jesus to be embraced by love so fully that we can reach out to others. We have to be made vulnerable and trust so that love can embrace us fully.

Divorce, remarriage and adultery . . . they are difficult things to discuss without great emotion and turmoil. Consider these with the heart as well as the mind; consider them with love.

Let’s embrace the love we have, given to us through the grace of God, revealed to us in Jesus Christ and in the relationships that are strengthened by the Spirit. Amen.

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[1] Seasons of the Spirit, Congregational Life, Pentecost 2, August through November 2009

[2] http://admin.cmf.org.uk/pdf/helix/spr05/31comforting.pdf Janet Goodall is Emeritus Consultant Paediatrician in Stoke-on-Trent, Christian Medical Fellowship. Spring 2005. p. 16